Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Monologue Jokes About Valentine's Day, Dancing with the Stars, and Father Shooting Daughter's Laptop

President Obama said men should not forget Valentine’s Day and they should go big. And Republicans say the president isn’t pro business.

A North Carolina father shot his daughter’s laptop after she made a Facebook post he didn’t like. Imagine what he would have shot had he found her stash of condoms.

Rick Santorum is polling even with Mitt Romney. Newt Gingrich is like, “WTF, when I said it was a two person race, I meant I was the second guy.”

President Obama’s approval ratings with Catholic voters hasn’t declined. That must be really pissing off conservatives who were hoping to ride the anti-birth control policy wave into office.

Herman Cain turned down a chance to be on “Dancing With the Stars.” Apparently, he’s holding out for an appearance on “The Apprentice.”

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