Mitt Romney said Rick Santorum voted for legislation he didn’t believe in. Romney was like, “Only a Washington insider would vote for legislation that helped him get reelected.”
A 3-year-old girl in Maine walked to the grocery store in the middle of the night because she dreamed her mother was there buying pizza. Police were able to take the girl home, but only after convincing her that DiGiorno really isn’t as good as delivery pizza.
A man in Wisconsin was arrested for impersonating a Denny’s manager and cooking a cheeseburger. Employees knew the man was not a real manager because he actually started to work.
President Obama criticized Republicans for making high gas prices an election issue. Obama was like, “Is that all you have to use against me, bitches?”
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