Monologue Jokes about Herman Cain, Penn State, NBC, Brad Pitt, and More

NBC has unveiled its midseason TV schedule. Or as it’s know at the network – more shows that viewers don’t want to watch.

In Missouri, an actress playing the Sugar Plum Fairy was fired because she uttered a curse word during a drug test for the job. I don’t know about you, but I think this is bulls**t.

Herman Cain says he was not confused by a Libya question. He was just trying to remember if he ever tried to stick his hand up a woman’s tunic dress.

Jerry Sandusky said he never sexually assaulted kids, but did take showers with them. Because nothing is more innocent than being alone in a shower with a 10 year old and deciding to “horse around” with him.

Brad Pitt says he’ll retire from acting in 3 years. But he vows to keep driving women mad for the rest of his life.

Sharon Bialek’s former boyfriend said he and Bialek spent an evening with Herman Cain. He remembers because at some point Cain said, “Excuse me while I whip this out!”