Today's Jokes

At the Republican debate on Tuesday, Herman Cain was asked by rivals what he meant by 9-9-9. Cain said it wasn’t so much an economic plan as his guess of what Chris Christie weighs.

The trial of the Underwear Bomber got off to a rocky start on Tuesday, especially when the prosecutor screamed, “Liar, liar, pants on fire.”

The Detroit Lions are 5-0 for the first time since 1956. The team apologized to its fans and vowed to be back to their losing ways before the season is over.

Sara Leal, the model who said she slept with Ashton Kutcher, told the press she’s talking because she’s having a hard time keeping her mouth shut. She might want to add her legs, too.

Chris Christie has endorsed Mitt Romney for president. Romney said getting Christie’s endorsement is huge. Then again, he might have just said that Christie is huge.

At the Republican debate on Tuesday, Herman Cain’s 9-9-9 economic plan came under attack by rivals. Santorum said it would never pass Congress, Huntsman asked if it were the price of pizzas, and Bachmann said if you took 1 away from each number it would be the number 888. She’s getting smarter every day.