The mother of the 9-year-old Michigan girl caught driving her father to the store said watching surveillance tape from the gas station was upsetting. The mother added, “I can’t believe he let her out of the house dressed like that.”
Major airlines have announced that they are raising airfare prices. When asked why they’re doing it, a spokesman for the airlines said, “Because we can.”
Riverside County California has barred sex offenders from decorating their houses, leaving lights on, answering their doors, or passing out candy on Halloween. Where’s the fun in that? After all, it is called trick or treat.
To his Republican rivals who say he keeps changing his positions, Mitt Romney has said, “You can get with this or you can get with that. You can get with this or you can get with that. I choose to get with this and that’s why my lead in the polls is fat.”
Some Republicans say Herman Cain’s surge in the polls is proof that their dislike of President Obama has nothing to do with race. Cain said to Republicans, “Liberals will no longer be able to play the race card as soon as you vote my black ass into office.”
After an Ohio man released of 50 exotic animals, lawmakers are proposing tougher laws, saying the public must be protected from dangerous predators. Meanwhile NRA-backed lawmakers continue to resist regulations that protect the public from predators carrying guns.
Herman Cain has said that black people who vote Democratic are brainwashed. Adding, “When black people can’t be bribed with pizza, then brainwashing is the only logical explanation.”
Retailers have said they will be prepared for “Flash Robs” during the holiday shopping season. You’d think they’d be happy to actually have people in their stores.
Vice President Biden is being attacked by Republicans for saying that rejection of Obama’s jobs bill would lead to more crime. Man, Republicans get touchy when a page is taken out of their playbook.
A recent survey has found that men think men are funnier than women. This goes to show you that you should never underestimate the popularity of a good fart joke.
It’s been rumored that Michele Bachmann’s entire paid campaign team in New Hampshire has quit. It’s also been rumored that Herman Cain offered to pay them in pizza instead of peanuts.
Herman Cain has made changes to his 9-9-9 tax plan, saying people in poverty won’t pay income taxes. So now the poor and the super rich have something in common.
The list of celebrities visiting Occupy Wall Street continues to grow. I’m not sure this is the right place to get the career back on track. Hear that Rick Perry?
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