Monologue Jokes About Mall of America, Ron Paul, Newt Gingrich, Mitt Romney, and Rick Santorum

Rick Santorum says if he’s dead last in Iowa, he’ll quit and go home. Wow! A New Year’s resolution we all hope he keeps.

Newt Gingrich is now calling Mitt Romney a Massachusetts Moderate. Mitt Romney is like, “Well, Gingrich is a conservative cracker.”

There was a big fight at the Mall of America. Maybe retailers were a little too strict with their return policies this year.

Barack Obama is the most admired man in America. Or as Ron Paul likes to call the president - that black guy that race traitors love.

In 2006, Newt Gingrich said Mitt Romney’s health plan was a good one. Now Gingrich is like, “I’ve changed my mind and think Romney’s healthcare plan is pure evil. But I’m not a flip flopper.”