New Jokes

Politicians have been critical of each other in recent days. Obama has criticized Republican presidential candidates for not speaking up when a gay solider was booed at a GOP debate, Herman Cain has criticized Rick Perry for the name of Perry’s hunting camp, and Chris Christie has criticized both Obama and Cain for not being edible.

Last week, the king of Saudi Arabia granted Saudi women the right to vote starting in 2015. One shrewd politician has even begun to court women voters. His campaign slogan is: Vote for me, bitches!

Former California Regent and staunch anti-affirmative action activist Ward Connerly was at UC Berkeley last week. Connerly was showing support for the Berkeley College Republicans bake sale where the price of baked goods was determined by the race, gender and ethnicity of the buyer. When Connerly tried to pay full price for a cupcake, he was turned down. A member of the organization is reported saying, “That is a privilege reserved for white men only.”

Amazon has confirmed reports that it will release a tablet computer. The release of the Kindle Fire was announced at a press event last Wednesday in New York. Priced at $199, the Kindle Fire will compete against Apple’s iPad. Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos is reported to have raised his new tablet in the air and shouted, “How you like them apples?

Rihanna was in Ireland recently shooting a music video. During the video shoot, the singer was walking around naked. The farmer whose land she was on told her she could either put back on her clothes or get off his land. Guess who was just voted the gayest farmer in Ireland?

On Saturday, President Obama asked Republicans to tell him what they like and what they don’t like about his proposed $447 billion jobs bill. Top Republicans responded by covering their ears and saying, “La, la, la, we’re not listening!”

The Federal Trade Commission announced last week that Reebok has agreed to pay $25 million to settle a complaint that it used deceptive advertising to market its Easy Tone and Run Tone sneakers. A spokesperson for Reebok said the company is sorry for what is has done and the company will not use deceptive advertising when marketing its Drop off the Pounds by Doing Nothing Sweat Suit next year.

The new Seth Rogen movie is now in theaters. Is 50/50 the movie’s title or just the odds of people actually liking the movie?

The NFL says it stands behind the five-game suspension it gave Terrelle Pryor, calling Pryor’s actions a deliberate manipulation of their eligibility rules. In other NFL news, it is still okay to rape, pillage, and snort cocaine.

Investors dumped Eastman Kodak’s stock Friday amid fears that the company is headed toward bankruptcy. When the press showed up at Kodak’s headquarters seeking a statement, a spokesperson for Kodak is quoted as saying, “Why don’t you take a picture, it’ll last longer.”